That's because the hapless but improving Lions, led by aggressive first-year head coach Jim Schwartz, already have won a game this season. And as "football weather" arrives and the shank of the NFL regular season commences, at least three teams – the St. Louis Rams, Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Tennessee Titans – can't make the same claim.
All three are 0-6 in the 2009 season, and had the Kansas City Chiefs not had the great good fortune to stumble into a Week 6 win against the Washington Redskins, they would have remained a member in bad standing of the Clueless Club as well.
Washington Redskins Gracious Opponent for Detroit Lions, Kansas City Chiefs
Both Detroit and Kansas City have notched their only wins of the season versus the Redskins, for whom the end zone appears to be the forbidden planet, yet no one is including the 2-4 'Skins in the Lousy Team Lottery so far. That may soon change: Redskins management (read: owner Daniel Snyder) removed play-calling responsibilities from endangered head coach Jim Zorn immediately following the 14-6 embarrassment by the Chiefs.
So three squads can't seem to find a win with a GPS device, while four teams – the Indianapolis Colts, New Orleans Saints, Minnesota Vikings and Denver Broncos – are racing to distance themselves from the rest of the league with perfect records.
This is parity, Mr. Goodell?
A (Tennessee) Titanic Collapse
It's almost impossible to remember the last time there were so many undefeated and winless NFL teams at this point of the regular season, or when such a vast gulf seemed to exist between the wonderful and the woeful. The battered Rams, for example, give the impression they might never again win a game (until they visit the Lions at Ford Field Nov. 1, that is). Most stunning is the sorrowful plight of the Tennessee Titans – last year's top seed in the AFC playoffs – which suffered a complete and total humiliation in the freezing snow at Foxboro, a 59-0 pasting from the New England Patriots.
It was the league's most lopsided shutout in 34 years. The day-after headline in the Nashville Tennessean screamed, "This Is the Worst Titans Team Ever." And while that may be sportswriter hyperbole, it is utterly baffling how any team can fall so far, so fast. Between the death of retired team icon Steve McNair, the departure of defensive bulwark Albert Haynesworth and the disappointment of great quarterback hope Vince Young, the Titans apparently have hit a perfect storm of catastrophe that ultimately may cause coaching legend Jeff Fisher his job.
The Titans have been outscored by 101 points in their last three games. And did we mention that Schwartz, the new Lions coach, is the Titans' former defensive coordinator?
Brett Favre Was Worth the Wait for Minnesota Vikings
On the other end of the spectrum, the Vikings are riding their first 6-0 record since 2003 on the speed and power of running sensation Adrian Peterson and the miraculous right arm of Brett Favre. Suddenly head coach Brad Childress, the professorial lumberjack, looks like a genius, and all the frustration and drama and anger and lunacy over whether Favre was going to play for the Vikings or not seems like so much small talk.
The Saints, far removed from their woeful era of the New Orleans "Aint's," have established themselves as one of the elite teams in the league. Their much-ballyhooed showdown with the brawny New York Giants turned out to be a plain ol' beatdown as top-rated quarterback Drew Brees laid 48 on the vaunted Giants defense.
Meanwhile, the obvious downside of so much ineptitude at the bottom the standings is that it makes for some gawd-awful matchups on future Sunday afternoons, which cannot be what the NFL and Goodell had in mind. The pairings of Oct. 25, 2009, for example, include Indianapolis (5-0) at St. Louis (0-6), New England (4-2) vs. Tampa Bay (0-6) – at Wembley Stadium in London, no less – and the Buffalo Bills (2-4) at the Carolina Panthers (2-3).
Really, outside of obsessed fans and immediate family members, who wants to watch those games?
Jimmy McFarlin - Hello there! My name is Jimmy McFarlin, and like my wife likes to say, I have the experience of an old man and the enthusiasm of a young ...
